“We do not know what to do, but our eyes are on you.” (2 Chronicles 20:12)
For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what they already have?But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters.And those he predestined, he also called; those he called, he also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. (Romans 8:24-30)
Here’s the deal – God always gives an answer.
Here’s the other deal – sometimes that answer is that we don’t get an answer yet.
That’s the season I’m living in right now. It’s pretty hard. But God keeps softly telling me to trust Him. So I’m trying to. I want to talk about how.
There’s a lyric that has been playing in my head during this season: “He’s in the waiting.” I think it’s pretty profound because I’m very quick to forget it, but it’s true. He’s in the seasons of waiting too. He’s never absent and if I don’t hear Him, He’s intentionally being silent – and the craziest thing is that silence is for the utmost good. All I have to do to find peace in this season of uncertainty is trust that fact. And here’s the hardest part of that – I can’t trust that fact without Him. It seems so backwards and twisted sometimes – I get pretty angry when I try to do it on my own – but in reality it’s the most generous, gracious thing in the entire world. The God of the universe that I turned my back on and continue to turn away from affords me enough love and grace to give me the strength to trust Him and receive peace in that same trust. That’s amazing. That’s worth rejoicing about. That’s the Lord I desire to serve, even when He’s not providing the answers I desperately pray for each and every day.
Why isn’t my family mended?
Why are finances so difficult?
Why does it seem like relationships are falling apart?
How do I resolve the conflicts in my life?
What do I do next?
Where will I be next year?
He continually tells me that it’s not time for these answers yet. He’s building my trust in Him, not my reason or logic. He’s building my hope in Him, not in my selfish certainty. He’s graciously letting me sit in the refining fire of uncertainty. All this so that one day I might receive the answers to these questions – but even more importantly so that I can see the only real answer to anything is Christ. So whether the answers come in the next season, or in the eternity in which I’m joined with His perfect love forever, I’ll keep waiting and praying for the strength to trust Him who gives me strength.